sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
