the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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