So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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