What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
