i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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