so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize