So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
