just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
