DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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