fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
