My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
