forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
