have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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