i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
