The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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