the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
