Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
