That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
