Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
