For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
