Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
