I can text with my tongue
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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