time to smoke my breakfast
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
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