The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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