im six kinds of drunk right now
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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