You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
