I wish I could punch you in the face.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
The struggles of a small town man whore
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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