Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
You did what with his pubic hair?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
