Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
