Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
