her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
