First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
