omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
