Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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