Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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