Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
