Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
