I wish i was in the wii world.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
