put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
