So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
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