I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
