Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
