look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
This is my gift to your gina
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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