Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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