Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
