we're blogging at a bar
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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