It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
