Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
