i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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