my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
You made out with two different species that night
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Randomize
