Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize