id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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