I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
