Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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