I accidentally had phone sex last night
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
