sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
