I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
