Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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