I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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