All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
