is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
