We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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