they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
