she was so not down for the gang bang
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I have grass duct taped all over my body
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
