you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
did i walk over a car last night?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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