What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
