So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize