oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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