Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
