The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
