Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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