No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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