I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize