YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
