I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
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