Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
