I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
